1. Read "Chapter 9: Revising an Essay" in Between Worlds (pgs. 381 - 403).
2. Complete revision of Writing Project 1: Creative Nonfiction. Make sure to attach your first draft and your peer reviews when submitting on Tuesday.
3. Read "Diabesity: A Crisis in an Expanding Country" by Jane E. Brody (204 -208).
Up for Discussion:
One of the main skills you should already possess upon entering this class is the ability to cull important information from a text. I can't help but notice, however, that we're a bit rusty at this. To practice this skill, I'd like you to post a comment in which you examine the thesis, tone, main points, and support that Jane E. Brody uses in her essay "Diabesity." You can simply list them like this:
Thesis: ...
Tone: ...
Main Points:
1 - ...
2 - ...
3 - ...
Support: ...
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Thesis: "Paragraph 1 of the reading, the opening statement"
ReplyDeleteTone: Jane E. Brody has a very concerned toe when it comes on to obesity and diabetes, and explains it in the essay very well. She uses a rhetorical question that was effective.
Main Points:
1- Fast foods play a huge role in the development of diabetes and weight gain in society.
2- Genes play an important role in the development of type 2 diabetes.
3- Change of eating lifestyle and the input of exercises can reduce the chances of diabetes.
Support: She used statistics and facts to support her ideas in the writing,for example, (Risk is 1.6 times greater for blacks than whites, 2 times as great for Mexican Americans and Native Americans.)
Thesis: The First Paragraph of the reading.
ReplyDeleteTone:Jane E. Brody has an urgent and confused tone to why hasn't obesity been taken more seriously when looking at the facts.
Main Points:
1- Adults aren't the only victims anymore, children are beginning to develop diabetes.
2- An economic structure that makes it cheaper to buy fries then fruit.
3- Genes also determine how likely you are to get diabetes.
Support: Jane E. Brody uses a lot of statistics to prove her point, for example, In just over a decade, she noted, the prevalence of diabetes nearly doubled in the American
adult population: to 8.7 percent in 2002, from 4.9 percent in 1990.
Thesis: Diabesity in children and adults.
ReplyDeleteTone: Jane E. Brody tone is very informative, with a little disgust and disbelief at times.
Main Points:
1- An estimated 18.2 million Americans now have diabetes which includes children as well
2- Being overweight or obese, especially with the accumulation of large amounts of body fat around the abdomen.
3- An economic structure that makes it cheaper to eat fries than fruit.
Support: A 15 year study published in January in The Lancet. Genes play a role as well. Patient histories show that medical structure is a factor as well.
I didn't said anything yet
ReplyDeleteNina:
ReplyDeleteThesis: Rethoric Question in the first paragraph.
Points:
1. Diabesity is a nationwide problem that spreads among all the age groups.
2. The main causes of the desease:
A. Excess weight as a result of the fast food culture.
B. Genetic influence on Diabesity development
C. Problematic Health Care System as another barrier for Diabesity Preventing Process
3. Type 2 Diabetes, as a first stage of the serious desease that can be prevented by diet and exercises.
Support: Author uses statistics, datas, experts publications that make her credibility statement stronger.
Thesis: The first statement in his essay addressing the seriousness of America’s health problem with excess weight.
ReplyDeleteTone: I believe that Jane E. Brody's tone is one of anger and disbelief at the lack of importance that is given by the government on this overgrowing epidemic. Also at times he seems confused by the average American and there eating habits.
Main Points:
1 - She states about how the times have changed and not only adults are at risk for diabetes children are at risk as well. She also stats that for this reason a change resulted and type 2 diabetes was created.
2 - She speaks on the topic that the economy and the mass media has also to do with the situation due to the fact it is cheaper to buy fast food than to buy a piece fruit.
3 - Se talks about the cost of this problem to the American government and also the health problems that result from this condition.
4 - She addresses possible courses of actions can be taken to address this situation.
Support: Jane E. Brody of course used statistics such as the how people with diabetes doubled in 2002(8.7%) from 1990(4.9%). She also quoted individuals such as Dr. Francine R. Kaufman author of Diabesity: The obesity-Diabetes Epidemic That Threatens America- and What We Must Do to Stop It and Dr. Mark A. Pereira of the University of Minnesota.
Thesis- "I can't understand why we still don't have a national initiatives to control what is fast emerging as the most serious and costly health problem in America: excess weight".
ReplyDeleteTone- The tone for the essay "Diabesity" by Jane E. Brody is informative, serious, and sort of condemning the factors(lack of parental and school health care, attracting young children to the fast food industry, etc.)that causes "Diabesity" in America.
Main Points- 1- Diabetes increased in numbers from earlier days to nowadays.
2-Reasons that cause children prone to Type 2 diabetes.
3-Tips on the prevention of Type 2 diabetes
Supports- 1- Paragraph 2:"..diabetes nearly doubled in the American adult population: to 8.7 percent in 2002, from 4.9 percent in 1990.
2-paragraph 5: economic structure that makes children eat fries rather than fruits, and mass media that lures children to eat massive amount of unhealthy food.
3-Paragraph 12, and 13: Type 2 diabetes can be prevented by choosing to eat low-calorie, low-fat diets; increase activity, and change their habbits. In addition, using stair instead of elavators, removing vending machines with unhealthy snacks, and offering healthy foods in cafeteria.
Thesis: The main idea that Jane E. brody addresses in diabesity is the seriousness in health concerns today involving children and adults
ReplyDeleteTone:Her tone in this article, is very concerned for the people, and she also shows a ton of anger with her arguement diabetes amoung children and adults.
Main Points:
1)She states that 41 million americans have a higher than normal blood sugar levek that precedes to full blown diabetes.
2)consuming fast food 2 or more times a week reults in a 10 pound weight gain and highers the rish of diabetes over a 15 year period.
3)Parents genes also paly a role, and the risk of diabetes is higher in most hispanics.
Support:Jane E brody uses statistics and with the help of pediatric endocronolgist dr. Kaufman and a 15 year study of diabetes in americans
Thesis: The most serious and costly health problem in America is excess weight. This is causing diabetes.
ReplyDeleteTone: The author (Jane E. Brody) expressed her concern about how this big and obvious problem is not being properly considered by the authorities.
Main Points:
1 – The prevalence of diabetes nearly doubled in the American adult population in just over a decade.
2 – Counting children and adults together, some 41 million Americans have a higher-than-normal blood sugar level.
3 – The reason of this epidemic is being overweight or obese.
4- Weight gain and the development prediabetes are directly related to unhealthful fast food.
5- The role of genes in this issue.
6- The lack of preventive medical care and lack of awareness campaigns contribute to enlarge the problem.
Support:
a.Diabesity: The Obesity-Diabetes Epidemic That Threatens America, by Dr. Francine R. Kaufman (Pediatric endocrinologist).
b.A 15-year study published in January in The Lancet, by Dr. Mark A. Pereira and his team. University of Minnesota.
c.Recent clinical trials from The Diabetes Prevention Program Research Group.